15 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Most people want to be in a long-term, loving, healthy relationship. But being in one requires hard work, dedication and effort from both people. And when you experience some type of trauma or abuse, it adds even more obstacles. But it is possible.

It is difficult to apply the same standards to every relationship. They can be defined in different ways depending on who is involved. But healthy relationships depend on a few key elements.

Table of Contents

1. Open and Honest Communication

As you’ve probably heard a lot, one of the most important signs of a healthy relationship is communication. But not just any communication – open and honest communication. Many relationships suffer due to ineffective or lack of communication.

When you grow up with abusive parents, you probably never learn to communicate properly. But understand this: Communication is not about arguing, yelling, or insulting the other person or each other. Open and honest communication means that both partners are comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and ideas to each other freely and honestly without worrying about judgment.

Moreover, communication is not just expressing and talking; It also includes listening. Good communication also means that you and your partner can listen to each other and feel heard every time you talk.

And remember, communication goes both ways. If a person refuses to participate, he won’t go anywhere.

Signs of open and honest communication in relationships

You can talk openly about any problem that may arise, big or small, whether in your individual lives or your life together.
You say what you mean and you mean what you say
You both actively listen to each other when talking
You can talk about basically anything going on in your life. There is no forbidden topic.
You are comfortable bringing up problems in the relationship or a particular behavior
You can ask each other for changes, but not in a controlling or demanding way.
You can express your needs and ask for what you want while taking your partner’s needs and desires into account.
You can talk about difficult topics, regardless of how difficult the discussion may be.
You can share opinions and perspectives and respect each other’s opinions, even if there are different opinions.

2. Trust

Another important sign of a healthy relationship is trust. I believe trust is the foundation of relationships. Without trust, it’s not a “relationship”. If you don’t trust the person you’re with, you can’t be fully committed to them or the relationship.

However, it is also true that trust needs to be developed. This can be especially difficult for people who have been betrayed or hurt before. However, trust is crucial for a healthy, long-term relationship. That’s why recovery is so important. As you begin to heal, you can begin to trust.

Trust is built by being honest and consistent with your words and actions. Do what you say and say what you do. It is determined by how partners treat each other. When your partner treats you well and is there when you need them, you develop trust.

Signs of trust in relationships

You believe what your partner says and do not question his integrity
You don’t feel the need to prove or test each other’s reliability or loyalty
You are confident that your partner will not do anything to harm you or the relationship.
You are open and honest with each other and do not keep secrets from each other
You feel physically and emotionally safe with your partner
Relationship is a safe space
You trust each other and know that you are there for each other physically and emotionally when needed.
You are confident that your partner will follow through on your words
You believe your partner won’t lie or cheat
You trust your partner no matter who they spend time with or where they go.
You are confident that you have your partner’s best interests in mind

3. Respect

Respect is needed for any relationship to work, so it’s a great sign of a healthy relationship.

Mutual respect in a relationship means you can see value in each other not only as partners, but also as unique individuals. This means you value each other regardless of status, career, income, race or gender.

Signs of respect in relationships

You respect each other as equals and individuals.
You give each other the freedom to be yourself
You understand each other and are empathetic
You value each other’s opinions, feelings, and needs. Even if there are disagreements or arguments, you can express them respectfully.
You listen and try to understand each other
You don’t say hurtful things about each other’s personal choices
Pay attention to how you talk and act around each other
You do not humiliate or belittle each other
You respect each other’s needs, wishes and boundaries

4. Interdependence

Most healthy relationships are described as interdependent. Interdependence means that you rely on each other for mutual support. But you retain your identity as a unique individual. In other words, you know you have your partner’s approval and love, but your self-esteem and sense of self do not depend on them. Even though you are in a relationship and share a life with your partner, you are still yourself.

You don’t need to spend every moment together or feel like your relationship suffers when that doesn’t happen. On the contrary, some time apart can help you appreciate each other’s presence more.

Signs of codependency in relationships

You can maintain your individual identities within the relationship
You feel safe and can be vulnerable with each other
You’re not afraid to voice your needs and ask for what you want. But you don’t need your partner to meet all your needs.
You support and make room for each other in your lives
You are clear about your values as individuals and as a couple
You set healthy boundaries that your partner respects and vice versa
You both have personal goals, interests, hobbies, and connections outside of the relationship.
You can look at each other. However, you can also practice self-care individually .
You both have a clear sense of self that is not influenced by each other.
You both have healthy self-esteem that does not depend on each other.

Having healthy boundaries in a relationship allows you to do things that don’t necessarily involve your partner. Examples include maintaining your privacy, having your own space, and being able to spend time alone or with others. Meanwhile, you still share important things with your partner.

First of all, having boundaries doesn’t mean keeping secrets.

Boundaries are meant to establish that each person has their own needs and expectations. It also reveals that just because two people are together doesn’t mean they own each other. They are still separate individuals.

Setting healthy boundaries also means practicing consent . And consent is a necessary part of any healthy relationship.

It’s important to discuss sex, sexual activities, and any physical intimacy that may be on or off the table beforehand.

Every physical action a couple takes requires consent from both partners. It’s also important to remember that just because a partner consents to an action doesn’t mean they consent to others. They also have the right to stop at any time, regardless of prior approval.

It is possible to have blanket approval, which is commonly used in committed relationships . It is where both partners openly agree to everything, unless otherwise stated (exceptions, limits, etc.). However, please remember that consent is immediately off the table when your partner is upset about something or says “no” or “stop.”

Signs of healthy boundaries and consent in relationships

You each have boundaries and you can respect each other’s boundaries
You can spend time separately, alone or with others
Sometimes you respect each other’s need for separate time and space
You have your own space and privacy
You can spend quality time together and separately
You don’t tell each other what to do, what to wear, or who to hang out with.
You don’t restrict each other’s contact with other people, in person or virtually.
You can talk openly about sex and sexual acts together
You can safely discuss what you are and are not comfortable with.
Both of you can say “no” without fear of repercussions.
You can take “no” for an answer without either of you getting angry or upset.
Neither of you is pressuring, guilt-ridden, or pushing the other into sexual activity or anything else they are not comfortable with.

6. Mutual Support and Teamwork

It takes two (or more) people to be in a relationship. Therefore, it is up to you and your partner to make the relationship work and thrive. Being in a relationship means working together and supporting each other, even if you don’t see eye to eye on something or have different goals. You should know that you can trust each other no matter the circumstances.

Signs of support and cooperation in relationships

You can work together and solve problems as a team
You encourage and inspire each other to be your best selves and continue to grow.
You are there for each other for comfort and support when something negative happens
You can trust each other when you struggle
You are always ready to offer support when your partner needs you and vice versa.
You cheer each other on and celebrate each other’s victories and successes.
You’re there for each other’s important events
You support and encourage each other’s pursuits and passions
You are a partnership, friendship and best friend

7. Equality and Reciprocity

Equality and reciprocity are important signs of a healthy relationship. Both terms may be related, but there are differences. Equality in a relationship means that both you and your partner are equal. As it is, one is not seen as better or stronger than the other in the relationship.

Reciprocity in a relationship means that there is a fairly equal give and take between you and your partner. This may include a fair distribution of responsibilities such as homework, childcare, and other related tasks. However, it’s okay if it’s not exactly equitable distribution, as long as both partners discuss and accept the responsibilities given to them.

Reciprocity and equality also apply to non-material things like affection, communication, and expectations. Examples include initiating conversations and caring and planning activities. Since this is about intimacy, it’s best if both partners contribute.

Reciprocity is NOT Keeping a Tally

Natural reciprocity tends to occur in strong, healthy relationships. However, this does not mean that both partners are always 100% equal. This is quite impossible. Sometimes a partner may need more help and support. Or, in some cases, one partner may prefer to take on more responsibility. Therefore, imbalances are fine as long as both individuals are good at the dynamic and receive the support they need.

Reciprocity isn’t about keeping score or what one person owes to another. A relationship’s “What do I get out of doing this for you?” It should not be transactional like this . Being in a relationship means you do things for each other because you really want to, not because you want or expect something in return. In the end, the most important thing is that both partners are happy with how much they give and receive from each other.

Signs of reciprocity and equality in relationships

You hold each other to the same standards
You value and respect each other regardless of status, career, income, race or gender.
Neither of you is suggesting that the other’s desires, choices, or needs are any more or less important.
You both put the same effort into the success of the relationship.
Unless stated otherwise, you make important decisions together.
Co-parent if you have children together
You both share the power in the relationship. As it is, neither is bossy about the other.
You do things for each other out of love and care, not because you expect something in return.
Unless stated otherwise, you both contribute fairly equally financially, emotionally, and physically.
Neither of you are giving too much or not enough in the relationship
You can support each other and be there in times of need without complaining about the turmoil the other is dealing with.
You both make sacrifices when necessary for the benefit of the relationship.
You are both happy with the distribution of responsibilities and expectations in the relationship.

8. Dispute Resolution and Conciliation

Disagreements are inevitable even in healthy relationships. So you may feel frustrated or angry with each other at times. This is normal. It doesn’t mean you have an unhealthy relationship.

Relationships without conflict may seem ideal. However, knowing how to discuss and resolve conflict effectively is more important than avoiding arguments to keep the peace.

Conflict can be healthy in relationships, especially when serious issues need to be addressed. It allows partners to communicate and make changes that will benefit the relationship in the long run.

Healthy conflict resolution typically leads to resolutions or compromise. Compromising means meeting halfway to reach an agreement. It is very important for a relationship to work and continue. It’s important to remember that you may not have everything figured out right away. Some things take time. However, if you and your partner can feel better and understand each other a little more after a conversation, then that in itself is progress.

You may not always want the same thing as your partner and vice versa. You cannot agree on everything. The important thing is that you can reach a consensus of understanding and at least agree to disagree.

Signs of conflict resolution and compromise in relationships

You are willing to communicate and work through conflicts and arguments as they arise
You can remain empathetic and respectful of each other during a conflict.
Neither of you blow things out of proportion and cannot view the situation or problem objectively.
You both avoid personal attacks such as name-calling, insults, accusations, or accusations.
Neither of you will resort to aggression or violence.
If you are upset, angry, frustrated, or frustrated, neither of you will lash out or speak loudly at your partner.
You can discuss thoughts and feelings without judgment
You can negotiate calmly and reasonably during arguments or disagreements.
You can both take responsibility for your actions and words.
You can apologize when you’re wrong
You are both willing to listen to your partner’s perspective and try to understand it from their perspective.
Neither of you assumes what the other is thinking or feeling.
You are patient with each other and willing to forgive and let things go
You can both focus on finding a solution rather than winning the argument or being right.
You both can resolve conflicts with a solution or compromise, even if it takes some time.
When a solution cannot be reached, you both can come to a consensus of understanding and agree to disagree.

9. Sincerity

When people hear the word “intimacy” in relation to relationships, they often think of sex. But intimacy is much more than just sex. Also, not all couples need or want sex. In other words, what intimacy means to one couple may not mean the same thing to another. Intimacy simply means being able to be close to your partner. It can be physical, emotional, intellectual, experiential or spiritual. It is also important to recognize that passion and intimacy are different. Passion tends to diminish over time as a relationship continues. However, the amount of affection and intimacy is not required. Apart from sex, other forms of physical intimacy include hand holding, kissing, cuddling, cuddling, touching, and physically sleeping together.

Other types of intimacy

Emotional intimacy involves honest, genuine sharing of thoughts and complex feelings with each other. Being vulnerable and open to each other brings you closer to each other.

Intellectual closeness involves sharing ideas and opinions, even if there are disagreements. It allows you to exchange information, have meaningful conversations, and learn from each other.

Experiential intimacy occurs by spending quality time together and sharing experiences and memories . This can lead to inside jokes and common activities that help you become closer.

Spiritual intimacy may include religion, such as praying together. But it could also be sharing values or appreciating a moment of peace together, like watching the sunrise or walking in nature.

There is no “right” amount of intimacy in a relationship. How close and how often you want to be with each other is up to you and your partner. What makes a relationship healthy is that both partners are happy with the level of intimacy they share, which again can be expressed in a variety of ways.

Signs of intimacy in relationships

You are comfortable initiating and talking to each other about sex and other physically intimate activities
You are comfortable expressing your interest in more or less physical intimacy with each other
You can both talk to each other about fears, hopes, dreams, and complicated emotions. And when you do this, you both feel heard.
You can both let your guard down with each other.
You are relaxed and able to quietly appreciate each other’s presence
You enjoy having meaningful conversations
You can share and exchange ideas and ideas with each other
You enjoy spending quality time with each other, whether it’s casual or exciting.
You share common interests and activities that you can enjoy together
You are both emotionally and physically satisfied with the relationship

If you are not as intimate with your partner as you would like, remember, intimacy is built over time. It requires patience and communication. Therefore, if you want to be closer to your partner, talk to them about it and give them time.

10. Comfort and Acceptance

When a relationship begins, you may feel anxious about sharing. It’s normal. But as you get to know each other, your comfort levels should increase to the point where you can be yourself. Over time, as the intimacy of a relationship increases, partners begin to reveal more of their thoughts, ideas, beliefs, interests, and memories to each other. It’s important to be comfortable being yourself in a relationship. You deserve a partner who accepts everything about you and loves you just the way you are.

While every couple has different levels of openness and self-disclosure, you should never feel like you need to hide aspects of yourself or change who you are. You don’t need to share every detail about yourself with your partner. Everyone needs their privacy and space. But you should feel comfortable sharing what you want to share without worrying about judgment.

Signs of acceptance and comfort in relationships

You accept each other as you are and care for each other no matter what.
You accept each other’s history and flaws. But you also support each other’s interests, so that the other can get better if necessary.
You both want to watch each other transform into your best selves.
Neither of you is stuck with who the other used to be or who you think they should be.
You can both be honest about your likes, dislikes, quirks, guilty pleasures, curves, interests, and hobbies.
Neither of you feel that aspects of yourselves need to be hidden or changed.
You see each other for who you truly are, not for an idealized version.
You are comfortable sharing things about yourself with each other
You embrace each other’s differences and find a way to appreciate them.
You are comfortable being yourself around each other and loving each other just the way you are

11. Love Languages

Not everyone transmits love the same way, just as everyone prefers to receive love in different ways.

The five love languages are different ways of expressing and receiving love.

Love Quotes
Spending Quality Time
Behaviors That Make You Feel Loved
Buy a gift
Physical Touch

When you and your partner have different love languages, there may be misunderstandings or lack of satisfaction in the relationship. One or both of you may not feel loved or appreciated enough because you may not be receiving love in the way you prefer.

Once you and your partner learn each other’s love language, you can show affection in the other’s preferred way. As a result, you will both feel happier in the relationship. It also helps you connect better, be more intimate, and feel more content.

You may be able to relate to all or most of these languages. But usually, there is a primary one that you prefer over the others. You and your partner can discover your preferred love language by taking this quiz .

12. Kindness and Appreciation

Once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it can be easy to start taking your partner and the relationship for granted. When this happens, you may stop caring for and appreciating each other. This eventually leads to other problems such as arguments, frustration, resentment, and doubt about whether the relationship can last. Therefore, it is important to frequently express kindness and appreciation towards each other. Make it a habit. Treating your loved one with care, attention, empathy, appreciation and compassion is a strong sign of a healthy relationship. Couples who frequently express kindness and gratitude towards each other report feeling more satisfied and happy in their relationships. When you’re in a relationship with someone you truly love and care about, kindness comes naturally. And if you can notice how much better you and your life are with your partner, appreciation will also matter.

Signs of kindness and appreciation in relationships

You treat each other with respect, kindness, care and compassion.
You both pay full attention, actively listening and trying to understand and consider each other’s point of view.
You really compliment, praise, encourage, inspire and motivate each other, even over simple things.
You are warm towards each other
You often say “please” and “thank you” to each other, even for expected things.
You say “I love you” often and express your love for each other.
You both constantly express kindness and appreciation towards each other.
You are generally helpful and helpful to each other
You always take each other’s feelings into account
You can say “I appreciate that” or “I appreciate you”
You can remain kind and considerate in difficult times
You pay attention to and appreciate the small and big things you do for each other.
You can add small, meaningful gestures for each other to your daily routine.
You both cherish every moment together
You both accept and appreciate everything you do for each other, and you express it often.

13. Curiosity and Innovation

After being together for a while, some couples may fall into a routine. This can lead to boredom and lack of satisfaction in the relationship. Mundane and routine are not necessarily bad. But couples who try to keep things interesting and remain curious about each other are often happier and more satisfied in their relationships. It keeps things fresh and interesting, making you want to learn more about your partner and try new things. This helps keep the romance alive.

Signs of curiosity and novelty in relationships

You are interested in each other’s thoughts, feelings, and daily lives
You want to know more about each other
You can both talk about topics you don’t normally care about because they’re important to your partner.
You wonder how the other sees things and how they are respectful of each other’s perspectives.
You make time for each other to be intimate or connected.
You can try new things together to get out of your daily routine.
You plan date nights and activities to do together

14. Shared Values and Goals

It makes sense that your values, dreams, goals, and preferences are separate individuals. But it’s also important to share values and goals as a couple.

Once you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, “my life” is no longer just “my life.” It becomes “our life”. Whatever each of you does will affect the other person in the relationship.

If you want to be in a stable, committed, long-term relationship, you and your partner should share goals for the future. Should you move in together? Buying a house together? Getting married? Do you have children?

It is very important that you are both on the same page regarding future plans. This way, you know if you share the same values and goals. It’s better to discuss these early so it doesn’t become an issue down the road.

Signs of shared values and goals in relationships

You have determined and accepted the status of the relationship
You both want mostly the same things relationship-wise.
You are both happy with the pace and direction the relationship is going.
You share realistic expectations for the relationship
You’ve discussed and agreed to things like living arrangements, marriage, children, finances, contributions, and other important decisions about the relationship.
You are both committed to achieving your common goals together.

15. Joy and Satisfaction

At the end of the day, perhaps the most important sign is that you are happy with your partner and your relationship. Because if you’re not happy, it doesn’t matter how many other signs of a healthy relationship you check for. While there may be times of anger, distress, disappointment, or sadness, most of what you should experience in your relationship is happiness, pleasure, comfort, relaxation, stability, and joy. If you’re going through tough times, this can be hard to determine. So think about it this way: Does your partner make it easier or harder to deal with difficulties?

Life challenges may affect one or both of you from time to time. Being able to share lighter moments and still laugh and have fun together can help you relieve stress and feel better. You should be with someone who makes your life better. For many people, key relationship goals include increased happiness and life satisfaction.

You don’t have to be happy all the time, but you should still be able to be happy together and have fun most of the time.

Signs of joy and satisfaction in relationships

You make each other’s lives better
you make each other happy
You are safe and comfortable with each other
You often feel pleasant emotions in the relationship
You enjoy each other’s company
You can have fun and laugh together
You rarely have doubts about the relationship
You may find that the relationship lasts for a very long time, perhaps even “forever.”

Conclusion

As previously mentioned, it is difficult to apply the same standards to every relationship because every individual and relationship is different.

The most important thing is that you get better with your partner. You feel better, you want to be better, and your life is better with them. It’s okay if you don’t check everything on this list.

However, if there is something on this list that you feel is missing to give you a fuller, more loving relationship, bring it up with your partner. Get in touch! Then make appropriate changes together to address it.

It’s important to remember that relationships can’t always be 100% healthy.

During times of adversity, stress, and other challenges, unhealthy behaviors can emerge and create problems. However, as long as you work together, you will emerge stronger.

A relationship becomes unhealthy when the bad outweighs the good. Or when certain behaviors harm one or both people.

Continue to work on yourself and your relationship together. Enjoy each other’s company. Appreciate, love and care for each other. As long as you and your partner can keep it up, you’re good to go.

When to seek help or end a relationship

If you continue to have problems or feel unsatisfied in a relationship, you may consider seeking couples therapy . A professional can offer guidance on communication and coping mechanisms for issues that may challenge your relationship.

But remember, you can’t force someone to change their behavior unless they want to. If your partner is disinterested and unwilling to try therapy, you can attend on your own and focus on your own needs and health.

If there are unresolved issues or the relationship is ultimately dysfunctional, unhealthy or toxic, perhaps you should consider ending it. Breaking up may hurt, but you need to do what’s best for your well-being.

Relationships tend to change over time. Therefore, even if you are in a healthy relationship, you should evaluate it from time to time. You can find ways to improve it or at least keep the positives.

Check in with your partner frequently to evaluate how your relationship is going. Together, you can discuss and recognize what went well and what didn’t go so well.

Being able to acknowledge the good parts and address potential problems before they arise allows you and your partner to build a more loving, fulfilling relationship together.

In the end, maintaining a healthy relationship is an ongoing process. It requires time and effort from both people. But if you are with someone you truly love and care about, it will all be worth it.