30 THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP DOING TO YOURSELF
As Mary Robinson once said: “No one can go back and start over, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can start this transformation process you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
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- Stop spending time with the wrong people.
Life is too short to spend time with people who take away your happiness. If someone wants you in their life, they will make space for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a place. Never, ever insist on someone who constantly overlooks your value. And remember, it is not the people who are by your side at your best, but those who are by your side at your worst, your true friends. As JF Kennedy said: “Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan.”
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- Stop running away from your problems.
Face them with your head held high. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world who can perfectly handle every blow that is thrown at him. We are not supposed to be able to solve problems instantly. This is not how we are made. In fact, we are made to get angry, sad, feel pain, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of life – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over time. This is what ultimately makes us the person we will become.
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- Stop lying to yourself.
You can lie to anyone in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives only improve when we take chances, and the first and hardest chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.
The most painful thing is to lose yourself in the process of loving someone too much (your partner, your parents, your children, your siblings), and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others, but help yourself too. If there was ever a time to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that time is now.
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- Stop trying to be someone you are not.
One of the biggest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that is trying to make you equal to everyone. There will always be someone prettier, there will always be someone smarter, there will always be someone younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change to make people like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop holding on to the past.
You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.
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- Stop being afraid of making a mistake.
Doing something and doing it poorly is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you didn’t do much more than the things you did do.
- Stop berating yourself for past mistakes.
You can love the wrong person and cry over the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are perfect for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Everything that has happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is to come.
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- Stop trying to buy happiness.
Many of the things we want are expensive. But the truth is that the things that truly satisfy us are totally free: love, laughter, and working on our passions.
- Stop looking exclusively at others to be happy.
If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone. You have to create stability in your own life before you can share it with someone else.
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- Stop being inactive.
Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You can’t change what you refuse to confront. Moving forward involves risk. Spot! You can’t get to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking that you are not ready.
No one feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. The biggest opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting into relationships for the wrong reasons.
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Relationships must be chosen wisely. It is better to be alone than to be in bad company. There is no need to rush. And this can be transferred to all types of relationships, whether personal, work or professional. If something is meant to be, it will happen – at the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re alone.
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because the old ones weren’t working out.
In life you will realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you. But most importantly, some bring out the best in you.
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- Stop trying to compete against everyone else.
Don’t worry about what others do better than you. Focus on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between you and yourself only.
- Stop being jealous of others.
Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What is something I have that everyone else wants?”
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.
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The curves of life exist for a reason – to change your trajectory in a direction that is meant for you. You can’t see or understand everything that happens at a time, and it can be difficult. However, reflect on the negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You will often see that over time they led you to a better place, person, mood or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are much stronger than yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges.
Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You’re going to end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I am not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer…let go, find peace, free yourself. And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it is for you too. If you must forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop allowing others to bring you down to their level.
Refuse to lower your standards to make room for those who refuse to raise their own.
- Stop wasting time explaining to others.
Your friends don’t need it and your enemies aren’t going to believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without rest.
The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes it is necessary to step back to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments.
Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover that they were the big things. The best part of your life will be the small moments, the ones you spend laughing with someone you care about.
- Stop trying to do things perfectly.
The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
- Stop following the path of least resistance.
Life is not easy, especially when you think about achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t.
It’s okay to fall apart for a while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is fine. You shouldn’t worry about what other people think. Cry if you must – it is healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do it, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your problems.
The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. By blaming others for what is happening, you deny your responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone.
Doing it this way is impossible and trying will only burn you. However, making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not everyone, but her world. So refine your goal.
- Stop worrying so much.
Worrying will not free you from the burdens of tomorrow, but rather it will take you away from the joy of today. One way to check if there is something worth reflecting on is to ask yourself the following question: “Will this issue matter a year from now? Three years? Five years?”. If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.
Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you wake up every morning with the idea that something wonderful is going to happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you will often realize that you are right.
- Stop being ungrateful.
No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up every day grateful for your life. Someone else somewhere is desperately fighting for their own. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about everything you have that others are missing.