9 WAYS TO STOP IDEALIZING YOUR EX
When breaking up with someone, the first thing our crazy little head thinks is: “What if I made a mistake? “He was so good, we lived magical moments, I will never find someone like him.” Enough idealizing it! If you broke up with him it was for one or more reasons, there is no reason to go back. If you feel stuck and don’t know how to get out, this is what you have to do.
1. Stop focusing on the good things.
All relationships have good and bad things, but if the relationship came to an end it means that the bad ones outweighed much more. When you question whether you made a good decision, remember the bad times, the times when you were a jerk and when you felt really miserable.
2. Try to identify why you think you miss him.
Maybe it’s just the fear of being alone, no quality surpasses the reasons why you were no longer happy.
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3. Make a pros and cons list about your relationship with him.
These types of lists are of great help, since they make you remember all the good and bad things objectively. Furthermore, when you see it in writing it will have a great impact on you, and you will realize why you should stop idealizing it.
4. Stop comparing your new dates to your ex.
Stop looking for a replacement, you should know that we are all different, it is not about replacing your ex, but about giving yourself a new opportunity.
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5. Ask your friends how they viewed the relationship.
Having the point of view of people who saw things from the outside will give you a better overview of the situation, so your bubble of illusion will finally be broken.
6. Remember those moments that made you question the relationship.
Surely before your relationship ended, you asked yourself: “Why am I still with him? Why am I not running away from this?” That’s exactly what you have to remember, the reasons why they broke up.
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7. Compare the person you were with him, with the person you are now.
Think about how much you changed for the worse while you were with him, the things you stopped doing, and the people you cut out of your life. Now ask yourself if you want to continue being that person or do you want to recover yourself.
8. Always keep in mind the reason why you broke up.
If your relationship had been as wonderful as it is in your mind, then you would still be together, but that’s not the case. There is one or many reasons why everything ended and that is what you should keep in mind.
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9. If you think you’ll never find someone like him, know that’s the point.
Enough of the drama, enough of believing that he was wonderful and that you will never fall in love with someone like that! Honey, that’s the point, that you never run into a jerk like him again.