How Important is Sex in a Relationship?

How important is sex in a relationship? It’s linked to positive changes like higher rates of sexual activity, lower blood pressure, lower stress, greater intimacy, and even a lower divorce rate. While there’s no one-size-fits-all rule when it comes to an ideal frequency of sex, we’re sharing insights from the latest research. This article also discusses how important sex is in a relationship, why having sex can be important, some of the benefits it can have, and statistics on how often couples typically have sex. It even covers the challenges you may face as a sexual couple and what you can do if you want to increase the amount of sex in your relationship.

 

Why Sex is Important in Relationships

Can a relationship survive without sex? Yes. Sex isn’t always necessary. But it can be an important part of a healthy, satisfying relationship. How important sex is can vary from one individual to another. Some people may feel that being a sexual couple is absolutely vital. Others may feel that other types of closeness and connection are more important.

Here are some of the reasons why you feel sex is important in a relationship:

• Feeling closer to your partner
• Showing love to your partner
• Finding sex fun and enjoyable
• desire to have children
• Feeling confident and sexy
• reduce stress

Research shows that having frequent sex can play a role in a person’s overall well-being. Having sex frequently is linked to more love. When couples experience more love, they are also more likely to have sex more often. 2

Summary

Sex can be an important part of a relationship, but having sex less often doesn’t mean your relationship is less satisfying.

 

Benefits of Sex in Relationships

Beyond the individual benefits for you and your partner, regular sex supports a healthy relationship in several ways. For example, oxytocin released during sex increases feelings of attachment and improves emotional closeness. 3

Sex in a monogamous relationship increases your commitment and emotional connection with the other person. Expressing love through sex makes couples more likely to stay together. As a result, sex is positively associated with a lower divorce rate.

Psychological Benefits of Sex

Lovemaking has many emotional and psychological benefits (sex is strongly linked to a better quality of life). Some of these benefits include:

• Better self-image: Sex can increase self-esteem and reduce feelings of insecurity, leading to more positive perceptions of ourselves.
• Higher happiness rates: More consensual sex and better quality sex increase happiness, according to a 2015 study from China. 4
• More bonding: Brain chemicals are released during sex, including endorphins, which reduce feelings of irritability and depression. Another hormone, oxytocin (“the cuddle drug”), increases with nipple stimulation and other sexual activity. 5 Oxytocin helps develop feelings of calm and contentment.
• Stress relief: Chronic stress can contribute to lower sex frequency. But sex can be an effective stress management technique. Sex reduces stress response hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline (epinephrine), and its effects last until the next day. one
• Improved sleep quality: Orgasm triggers the release of the hormone prolactin, which aids sleep. 6

Physical Benefits of Increased Sex

It’s pretty intuitive to understand how sex improves emotional health, but sex also has a number of physical benefits. Some of these include:

• Better physical fitness: Sex is a form of exercise. According to the American Heart Association, sexual activity is equivalent to moderate physical activity, such as brisk walking or climbing two flights of stairs. 7 Sex moves can tighten and strengthen abdominal and pelvic muscles. For women, improved muscle tone improves bladder control.
• Improved brain function: Preliminary studies on rats found that more frequent sexual intercourse was associated with better cognitive function and the growth of new brain cells. Similar benefits have since been observed in human studies. A 2018 study of more than 6,000 adults linked frequent sex with better memory performance in adults ages 50 and older. 8
• Improved immune function: Being more sexually active has positive effects on immune function. 9 Regular sex may even reduce your chances of catching a cold or flu.
• Lower pain levels: Endorphins from sex promote more than just a sense of well-being and calm. Sex endorphins also appear to reduce migraines and back pain.
• Weight loss: Having sex for 30 minutes burns an average of 200 calories. 10 Rewarding brain chemicals released during sex may suppress food cravings and promote weight loss.
• Positive cardiac effects: Penile-vaginal sexual activity (but not masturbation) has been associated with lower systolic blood pressure. 11 High blood pressure increases the risk of heart disease and stroke. Sexual activity helps blood vessels dilate, increasing the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to the body while lowering blood pressure.
• Additional physical benefits: Being more sexually active increases libido and increases vaginal lubrication. Frequent sexual intercourse is associated with lighter menstrual periods and less painful period cramps. Additionally, a better sense of smell, healthier teeth, better digestion, and glowing skin may be related to the release of the DHEA hormone by the body after orgasm. 12

Summary

Sex can have various benefits. It can help support healthy relationships and improve overall well-being. It has also been linked to individual benefits such as stress reduction, improved sleep, increased immunity and better heart health.

 

Ideal Frequency for Sex

Average Sexual Frequency

• Average adult: 54 times per year (about once per week)
• Adults in their 20s: About 80 times a year
• Adults in their 60s: 20 times a year

While frequency often decreases with age, sexual activity remains important in older adults. In general, older married couples tend to have sex more frequently than unmarried peers in the same age group. one

 

Potential Risks of Having More Sex

It was once believed that sex increased the risk of prostate cancer. However, a 2016 study discovered that men who had more ejaculations (21 or more per month) were less likely to develop the disease than men who had fewer ejaculations (seven or fewer per month). Since prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related death in men, 15 this effect is noteworthy.

For some, sex can increase the chance of having a heart attack. Despite this risk, a higher frequency of sex may help. A 2011 study found that regular sexual activity reduced heart attacks. Sex, along with other forms of physical activity, is protective. However, infrequent bursts of activity put more strain on the heart. 16 Discuss your sexual activity with your doctor to assess your risks. Unsafe sex can tip the scales of benefit and risk in the opposite direction. Make sure you are familiar with safe sex practices.

 

Challenges of Regular Sex

Although sex is important in a relationship, there are several factors that can make being a sexual couple more difficult. Age, hormones, children, stress, medical conditions, and relationship difficulties can play a role in how often couples have sex.

Age often plays a role in sex frequency, largely due to declines in sex hormone levels as people get older. 14 Sometimes, it is difficult or impossible to maintain an active sexual life due to physical or psychological conditions.

Humans are wired to crave the intimacy of sex. Lack of sex can cause individuals in a relationship to drift away and perhaps look elsewhere. Working with a licensed couples therapist can help bridge this gap and prevent problems from permeating your marriage.

Ways to Build Intimacy Outside of Sex

Couples can maintain a strong, healthy relationship despite these obstacles by looking at non-sexual ways to improve intimacy. Ideas to consider include:

• Hugging while watching a movie or sitting in the park
• Doing activities together that you both enjoy, such as dancing
• Giving frequent hugs and kisses
• holding hands while walking together
• spend time talking to each other

 

How to Increase Sex in Your Relationship?

The frequency of sex can and often does change over time. But that doesn’t mean sex frequency has to be an unstoppable downhill slide. If you’re wondering if sex is as good as it was when you first fell in love, the answer is yes. Sex and intimacy may improve as your relationship matures. It may just take a little extra work.

Having sex more frequently without connecting emotionally or increasing communication is unlikely to create lasting improvements in your relationship. Managing stress is another important factor for a healthy sexual life.

If you always wait for your desire level to match your partner’s, you may be waiting a long time. Instead, communicate your needs and work together to find a happy medium. How often you have sex may change throughout your relationship. Communicating with your partner can help strengthen your relationship and improve your sexual satisfaction.

 

Summary

Sex can be a beneficial part of a healthy relationship. Studies show that the average couple in the United States has sex about once a week. Sex frequency tends to decrease with age, and other factors such as stress, children, and general health can also affect a person’s desire for sex. Sexual couples who want to increase their frequency should focus on communicating their needs and working together.

When deciding how important sex is in a relationship, having sex more often (or at least once a week) provides multiple benefits for a loving and supportive relationship. However, if you cannot have sex, it is still possible to increase intimacy.

 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

• Why is sex important in a relationship?

Sex may play a role in increasing intimacy between romantic partners, and regular sex is linked to lower divorce rates among married couples. It may also offer benefits for physical and psychological health, including reducing stress, improving sleep, and boosting immune function. Sex in relationships can also increase happiness levels and help couples bond.

• How often do couples have sex?

While frequency varies by several factors, including age and marital status, research shows that couples have sex on average once a week. 14

• What are the health benefits of having sex?

Having sex is linked to a number of positive health effects, including increased energy, better mood, lower stress, lower anxiety, reduced risk of prostate cancer, lower blood pressure and lower risk of heart disease. 118

• Is sex necessary in a relationship?

The importance of sex depends on the individual and the couple. Not everyone needs sex to feel close to their partner or happy in their relationship – but some do. Talk to your partner about your desires and find ways to stay emotionally and physically connected, whether that involves sex or other forms of non-sexual intimacy.