Couple: how not to repeat the same mistakes?
Couple: how not to repeat the same mistakes? The answer here!
How many times have you asked yourself why you are falling in love with the wrong person? What pushes you to tirelessly reproduce the same emotional patterns when they are doomed to failure? Here are some tips to finally get out of this vicious spiral.
1st step: become aware of your mistakes
The best way to change behaviors that repeat themselves over and over again is to detect them. In this way, it will be more obvious to take a step back from a situation which keeps recurring in different ways. Many women therefore have the impression of having a terribly hectic love life without realizing that they repeat the same scenario each time. Only the characters and the settings change, but the mechanics of the action remain unchanged. Taking a step back to look at the scene objectively can be beneficial in trying to change the course of history. It is also a way to stop feeling guilty and take an active approach to changing attitudes and behaviors that bother you. By becoming aware of this, you are no longer a victim, but an actress in your life.
2nd step: introspection
Certainly, you have spotted the mistakes that you constantly make. Now is the time to figure out why you are doing them. Only working on yourself can help you detect the origin of your repetitive behavior. Is this linked to your childhood? Have you experienced trauma in your past? Does your family history play a role? All these questions are worth asking, because one thing is certain: repetitive patterns constitute a defense system put in place by our psyche to relieve itself of a generally negative experience. But by going around in a loop, this parade ends up becoming harmful. To get out of this vicious circle, it may be necessary to consult a psychologist who will help you understand these unconscious mechanisms.
3rd step: on the road to change
After analyzing and giving meaning to each of your mistakes, you now have the cards in hand to take back the reins of your love life. You will finally be able to escape the role in which you were trapped for many years. Time will be your best ally to succeed in this metamorphosis. Because breaking out of a stereotype requires energy and reflection. It’s very easy to fall back into old ways! To avoid them, you must not rush. This will give you time to spot the different signs that could lead you to another failure and avoid them. If you are unable to change the pre-established scenario on your own, cognitive-behavioral therapy can be of great help to you, because it will teach you to modify the behaviors that you no longer wish to repeat. And if there are relapses, it doesn’t matter. We don’t change in the blink of an eye!