How Can I Control My Anger?
Anger can be a positive emotion – especially when it motivates you to solve problems or create positive social change . However, it is easy to become overwhelmed and become verbally or physically aggressive . Conversely, refusing to acknowledge, express, and deal with anger in a healthy way can affect your health.
Remember that anger management is not about finding ways to suppress your anger. Her goal is to understand the message behind this powerful emotion and find healthy ways to cope with and express your anger without losing control . Although you can’t always escape the things or people that bother you, you can learn to control your reaction.
8+ effective anger management strategies that work
Dealing with anger and knowing how to deal with your emotions is an acquired skill – most people can learn to control their emotions . Here are some ways to do this.
1. Recognize the signs
Detecting the emotion early can help prevent negative consequences. Anger can trigger the “fight or flight” reaction and cause an adrenaline surge.
Just before you become overwhelmed with anger, you may experience the following :
- rapid heartbeat
- faster breathing
- tense muscles
- Unrest
- Clenched fists or jaw
- To sweat
- tremble
When you notice the warning signs, you should take immediate action to stop yourself from saying or doing things you’ll regret. Take steps to manage your anger before it gets out of control.
2. Make time to think
Sometimes it can help to move away from the person who triggered your anger. It gives you time to sort out your emotions , deal with them, and decide how you want to react.
Here are some ways to make time to think :
- Count to 10 before answering
- Go for a short walk
- Repeat a word or phrase to help you calm down
- Talking to someone you trust who is not involved in the situation. Voicing your thoughts can give you a new perspective.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know or if there is no one nearby you trust, you may want to use confidential support organizations or consider therapy.
3. Use relaxation techniques
There are several effective relaxation techniques you can use, depending on what’s appropriate at the moment you’re upset .
Deep breathing techniques
One way to reduce and cope with your anger is to breathe slowly and deeply. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Breathe deeply from your belly rather than your chest. Repeat this process as many times as you want and feel your body become calmer.
Relax your muscles
Muscle tension is one of the symptoms of stress you may experience when you are angry. You may want to try progressive muscle relaxation techniques to help you calm down.
These techniques involve alternately tightening and relaxing your muscle groups and becoming more aware of your body and physical sensations.
Focus on one part of your body at a time in this order:
- Tighten the muscles gently, but do not force them.
- Notice the tension for a few minutes.
- Notice the difference between tense and relaxed muscles.
- Release and notice the relaxation.
- Repeat.
mindfulness techniques
A mindfulness practice for dealing with strong emotions like anger takes only three minutes to complete and can have a positive impact on your mental state. It allows you to tap into the experience of anger and bring compassion to it .
Follow these steps:
- Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Feel the places where your body comes into contact with the surface you are sitting on.
- Breathe deeply, filling your lungs with air and fully releasing each breath.
- Think about why you feel angry. Let the feeling grow as strong as possible.
- Notice what other emotions come up – you may feel sadness or fear. Try to focus on the feeling of anger.
- Explore the emotion—where in your body do you feel the anger? Is its intensity increasing or decreasing?
- Embrace your anger. Feeling angry is normal and part of the human experience. Be compassionate towards yourself despite actions you take under the influence of strong emotions .
- Let go of the emotion.
4. Exercise
Go for a brisk walk or hit the gym to release the tension that comes with being angry. Regular exercise is a great way to manage strong emotions. It reduces stress and helps increase your tolerance for disappointment. It also helps you clear your mind and deal with your emotions.
After a good workout, you may have a better idea of what triggers your anger – an activity, time of day, people, place or situation. With an open mind, you can think of ways to avoid triggers or view situations differently and stick to better anger management strategies.
5. Disrupting your thought patterns
Common negative thinking patterns (overgeneralizing, blaming, ruminating on “should haves” and “should haves,” mind reading, etc.) often feed your anger. You may ruminate on upsetting situations – this will make your frustrations worse and bring you closer to an explosion. So when you identify the thought patterns that trigger your anger, you can learn to reframe how you think about events .
When you find yourself stuck in an angry thought loop, distract yourself. Read a book , watch a movie , or do a physical activity that will take your mind off your frustrations for a while. Practice visualization by thinking of a time when you were calm and content.
6. Evaluate your anger
Once you’ve calmed down, it helps you evaluate the situation and understand why you’re angry. Are there certain people or actions that trigger you? Was your anger justified? Is there a way to avoid your triggers? If not, how can you deal with it?
Assessing the situation with a clear mind helps in choosing the best coping mechanisms . However, this is not easy to do and you may need the help of a professional. Seeking anger management counseling is a great way to cope with extreme and chronic episodes.
7. Find creative ways to deal with anger
There are some unconventional ways to calm down and deal with anger when you feel your anger rising:
- Speak your anger – use your voice or any musical instrument to express how you feel.
- Let out your anger – find a special place to dance to your favorite song.
- Draw or paint your anger – bring out your art supplies and draw or paint whatever comes to your mind.
- Use humor – making light of a situation can help ease feelings of frustration. Try to see the funny side of things that frustrate, irritate or disappoint you. Practice gratitude
– think of all the things you are grateful for to distract yourself from your frustration. - Create a “calm down” kit – bring together everything that makes you feel calm. This could be a collection of images, music, scents, or anything else that appeals to your senses.
- Use a gestalt technique to express your anger – put some pillows on a couch and pretend that’s the person you’re angry with. Speak, scream or punch to release your anger.
These creative techniques can help you release much of your frustration. When you are less emotional, approach the person you are angry with and have a calm conversation about how their behavior makes you feel.
8. Anger management therapy
If anger is having a negative impact on your life, you may want to seek counseling. Anger management problems are often linked to mental health issues – your outbursts may be more frequent than you think.
Uncovering mental health issues that inhibit your ability to manage anger is possible with the guidance of a therapist. You can start by consulting your doctor and they may refer you to a mental health professional for evaluation and diagnosis. Online therapy is also a good option.
NOTE
Everyone gets angry sometimes. This is a normal and sometimes beneficial feeling – it is neither good nor bad. It can provide social change and personal development. However, it can also lead to outbursts and aggression.
Anger can become a problem if you express it in a way that is harmful to yourself or others. Knowing how to control angry outbursts and cope with your emotions can significantly improve your relationship with yourself and others. We hope our tips can help you control your anger and express it appropriately.