How do we stop taking things personally?
Take constructive criticism seriously, but…
If a person tries to blame all the negativity in his mind on you, this is a defense mechanism. Instead of overcoming his problems, accepting and solving them, he directs his own thoughts and behaviors towards you. Since you cannot control other people’s actions, you can only control how much they affect you.
Take time to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and clarify your priorities. No one knows you better than you.
Be aware of your emotional triggers
Every person has some emotional triggers from their past. Some people’s behaviors can lead us to be sensitive about certain issues. For example, if your father was an overly critical person and you tried to be perfect to please him, anyone telling you that you were doing wrong might cause you to be more sensitive than someone else would under the same circumstances.
Whenever you feel upset about a situation, ask yourself: “Am I really upset, or is it because of my emotional triggers?”
Observe people’s relationships with themselves
The decisions most of us make, the way we communicate with people or how we relate to them are shaped in the early stages by our parents and the people around us. Therefore, if you start to see people’s behavior as an indicator of their relationships with themselves and their past experiences, you will take things less personally.
Learn to trust yourself
Make it your priority to build your relationship with yourself and to trust yourself and stand behind the decisions you make, despite all the criticism coming from outside. Knowing yourself has to do with your self-confidence. Knowing yourself involves understanding what makes you, you. When you are intentional about who you are, you are less affected by negative criticism.
Set boundaries between you and overly critical people
No matter how hard you try to stop taking things personally, if you’re constantly surrounded by overly critical people, you can be affected. Of course, many people’s tendency to take things personally has to do with their own mental habits and beliefs, but that doesn’t mean the outside world has no influence on it.
Don’t jump to conclusions
Don’t make assumptions about judgment or criticism that seems directed at you. Maybe it’s not about you, but about their own problems, needs, and desires to control you and/or a situation. One consequence of this is knowing what it is that makes you feel vulnerable. When you are aware of your vulnerabilities and what triggers your emotions and reactions, you can prepare yourself if an interaction tries to draw you in.