Lack of Self-Confidence and Solutions

What is Self-Confidence?

Confidence; have a positive and realistic understanding of ourselves and our abilities

It means we are. On the other hand, lack of self-confidence; It can be defined by concepts such as self-doubt, passivity, submission, over-adaptation, loneliness, sensitivity to criticism, insecurity, depression, feeling of inferiority and feeling unloved.

What is Lack of Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is one of the main causes of many problems in life. Being successful, being happy, being at peace with ourselves mostly depends on our self-confidence. In the life of a person without self-confidence, there are fears, indecision, inaction and anger. Self-confidence shows itself very clearly in business life and marriages.

Most people do not even think about applying for the job they deserve because of their self-confidence problems.

He is condemned to live a life far below his potential. The situation is different in marriages.

It is not. A happy marriage is possible with self-confident couples. If there is a spouse who lacks self-confidence, serious problems in that marriage may begin to give danger signals. The problem between families is the biggest example of these. Due to lack of self-confidence, problems such as not being able to express oneself, not being able to defend oneself, and becoming introverted are often experienced.

The problem of self-confidence is the biggest obstacle to a person’s clarity. It prevents him from expressing his thoughts correctly. The biggest problem that many people experience today is the problem of self-confidence.

This is the underlying factor of Social Phobia. Failure also depends on this.

Exam excitement is also related to this. A person who has self-confidence is happy in his inner world. He is at peace with his environment. A person who lacks self-confidence is constantly uneasy and dissatisfied with anything.

Self-confidence can be defined with the following concepts: having one’s ideas accepted, optimism, being willing, love, pride, independence, trust, being open to criticism, emotional maturity and having the ability to accurately evaluate one’s capacity.

How Does Lack of Self-Confidence Develop?

Feelings of inferiority and hopelessness usually arise after some negative life experiences at home, school or work. For example, when you were growing up, your parents may not have provided you with a healthy and supportive environment. They may be very critical, demanding, and/or overprotective of you. As a result, you start to think negatively about yourself.

• Losing a family member or close friend. For example: your parents’ divorce, leaving your home for the first time (separated from family and friends), breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
• Rather than perceiving negative events such as failure and disappointment as an experience, dwelling on them.
• Criticizing oneself or one’s abilities too harshly.
• Appreciating the consequences of events as worse than they actually are.
• Feeling too much pressure to meet the demands and expectations of your family and friends about you, and this prevents you from developing your own identity and making your own decisions.
• Setting unrealistic goals.
• Fear of failure. For example; When you fail a course, think of yourself as a useless and unsuccessful person, rather than thinking of yourself as a good person who failed a course.

How to Increase Your Self-Confidence?

• Think positively about yourself.
• Set goals that are realistic and meet your expectations. Set reasonable goals so that what you achieve is close to what you originally intended to achieve. This supports your self-confidence and satisfaction with yourself. William James, one of the pioneers of psychology, said: “Satisfaction with oneself = What we have achieved / What we aim to achieve.”
• Be proud of yourself and reward yourself when you achieve something.
• When something bad or sad happens, notice your negative thoughts. Instead of acting purely on your emotions, think logically about your situation.
• Concentrate on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Realize that you are more competent and assertive in certain areas than others, and that being perfect in every aspect of your life is impossible.
• Don’t attribute what you do and achieve just to luck. Instead, be proud of yourself for your personal accomplishments as well.
• Defend your ideas. In other words, learn to express your own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and needs honestly and clearly, without violating the rights of others.
• Learn to stand up for your rights and say “no” to requests that are unreasonable for you.
• Training on how to express your ideas clearly can help you improve your self-confidence.
• Make a list of the issues you believe are important in your life. Then write down ways to improve or change them. Of course, not all of your problems can be solved easily and quickly, but there will be some areas where you can take immediate action.

Things to Remember to Improve Self-Confidence

• Focus on the good things instead of the bad things.
• Think positively about yourself.
• Learn from your experiences.
• Set realistic goals.
• Be courageous.
• Keep learning.
• Do useful things.
• Give importance to simplicity.
• Welcome change.

WAYS TO STRENGTHEN SELF-CONTROL:

USE YOUR WILL MANAGEMENT: The resources of will are limited. Therefore, use your willpower wisely. Making big decisions, resisting temptations, or keeping emotions under control can reset your willpower tank.

MAKE A PLAN: Making a clear plan about your intention is half the job. This plan should answer detailed questions such as where, how, when, with whom.

FILL YOUR ENERGY TANK: Exercises to strengthen willpower reduce blood glucose levels. Therefore, do not resist the temptation of chocolate biscuits while working.

THE IMPORTANCE OF PRACTICE:  Just like strengthening muscles, people can also strengthen their willpower. Sticking to a solid plan for hitting the gym or practicing other self-control exercises can make it easier to use your willpower in other areas over time.

MAKE A HABIT: Find an external trigger for what you want to do. For example, going to the gym at 5 o’clock on Thursday. Eliminating the need for conscious decision-making and creating a circuit in the mind makes it easier to start and continue work. In short, make the things you don’t want to do a habit.

BE SPECIFIC:  If your goal is specific, rather than general or vague, your chances of success increase.

THINK POSITIVELY: It is easier to commit to a positive goal than to try to stay away from a negative goal. Believe that you will be successful instead of being afraid of losing.