Preparing for your love? 10 Tips!
Are things going well in your life, but would you like a loved one? These tips will help prepare you for love.
1) Focus on lack perpetuates lack
Do you often hear yourself saying/thinking: ‘I still haven’t met him/her…’ or: ‘Of course all the nice ones are already taken!’? Thoughts are forces, and therefore have an effect on your situation. Stop focusing on lack and learn to think in abundance. So think about the things you do have, that are going well in your life. Success (= attracting people and situations that suit you) follows a good feeling, not the other way around.
So it’s about how you feel. That good feeling will have a positive effect in all areas of your life, including love. This is not a matter of doing it once. It takes practice, but gradually it becomes more natural.
2) Don’t wait for happiness (in love)
In a previous article I wrote that we often wait for external reasons for happiness. ‘If I have this, or that person in my life, then I am really happy.’ This is a farce. Forget it. Happiness lies in the now, and in the connection with yourself. This also remains the case with a partner. Meditation, walking, mindfulness and exercise help you live more in the now.
Embrace your current situation as it is. Look at it with soft eyes and drop your judgments. Also those of others, which you may have silently attracted. What kind things can you say to yourself about your current situation?
3) Stop projecting
For years I thought I was ‘too different’ to find someone who fit in. Result: I attracted men who thought so. My interest in meditation and spirituality: a big no-no. Just like my independence. (‘But what do you need me for?’). I attracted them purely because I had a negative belief.
4) Change limiting beliefs
Do you have beliefs about yourself that are not effective? What new thoughts/beliefs would you like to turn them into? Write them down. At first it is difficult to believe the exact opposite.
So choose a thought that is a little more neutral, and that is therefore easier to believe. Example: ‘Everyone is unique, but there is always someone who suits me.’ Such a thought builds a bridge from ‘the island of Impossible’ to the mainland, where possibilities abound.
5) Visualize your wishes
Make a list of things you would really appreciate in your partner. Traits, beliefs, passions, you name it. Be as complete and honest as possible. Then take the time to feel what that person is like. And what it feels like when that person is in your life. Then say to yourself: ‘From now on, I want someone by my side who is good for me.’ How does that feel?
Then release the frame. So you don’t measure the people you meet according to your ‘newly established yardstick’. Put the list (it’s not a measuring stick) away and forget about it. You now have a clear view of what you find important, and that’s what it’s all about.
6) Be your own dream partner
Then become your own dream partner. Treat yourself the way you would want to be treated by your dream partner. Have that relationship you were looking for with yourself. Do you empathize: what do you find important?
That your love is kind to you? Be that for yourself. Think specifically about how you would prefer to see it. If presents make you happy, buy them occasionally. Compliments? Give them. Do you like powerful people who live their passion? Stand in your power and live your passions.
7) Show up
This takes courage: ‘Because what if I look even more special? Shouldn’t I appear a bit more general and thus spread my chances?’ No. Live completely who you are, who you really are. Don’t hide any longer, come out straight. Don’t keep yourself small.
Judgmental people will automatically drop out, because they absolutely do not suit you. Half hidden, differences become less apparent, and you attract all kinds of people. A waste of your time.
8) Grow love for yourself
It is also about learning to love yourself in such a way that you attract someone who also loves themselves. That creates healthy, beautiful and sustainable relationships. You then don’t need the other person for your happiness and self-confidence.
What could you do to love yourself even more?
9) Accept your partner as a mirror
The partner who suits you very well will also always be a mirror for you. Do you dare to look at yourself once he/she is there?
10) Keep faith in existence
Finally: Maybe it will take some time. Trust that existence will bring you what you need. When you are ready. And the latter; You can do something about this yourself with the 10 tips above.