Tips for dealing effectively with criticism…
When You Feel Criticized…
1. Don’t react immediately
If we wait a bit before answering, we may have the opportunity to think more calmly. Before you get defensive, listen carefully, take a deep breath, and think about your answer. How you physically respond to criticism will depend on the nature of the criticism, where you are, and who the criticism is coming from.
Remember, criticism is just someone else’s opinion.
2. Evaluate the Critic’s Intent
Who made the criticism and why? Consider what its purpose is. Is he trying to help you? Or is he just trying to be rude and annoy you?…
Does the person giving the feedback care about you and provide guidance on how to move forward on what you need to work on?…
3. Consider Criticism: Know the difference between destructive and constructive criticism
Instead of reacting harshly, take criticism as a suggestion or advice. Criticism can bring new ideas and create solutions to existing problems that can lead to success.
Constructive criticism; Produced with good thought and logic, “How could we produce something better if we were in the place of the person we criticize?” These are criticisms designed to answer the question, conveying both our positive and negative opinions, and presented in a clear, detailed and applicable manner in order to take the other person to a better level.
Constructive criticism focuses on improving the other person, while destructive criticism focuses on the negative. Feedback can be vague and often lacks guidance or support.
4. Check if you actually understood what was said to you.
Check whether you understand the other person correctly by giving feedback from time to time. Expressions such as “As far as I understand from you…”, “I wonder if I understood correctly…”, “As you stated…”, “Did you mean…” give the speaker the feeling and confidence that you are listening to him/her.
5. Respond to the words of criticism, not the tone.
When giving criticism, it is important to separate the suggestions in the criticism from the way you were told. People can often appear confrontational or even aggressive when criticizing. This may mean that we ignore what they say, despite the fact that criticism can be helpful.
6. Once you figure out if it’s really a criticism, decide whether it’s valid or not
– Accept criticism.
If you think the criticism is valid, accept it without expressing guilt or other negative feelings. Accept that you are not perfect and the only way we learn is by making mistakes, think about what we need to change, and thank the person for the feedback.
– If you disagree, express your disagreement.
It is important that you remain calm and able to control your non-verbal behavior, including tone of voice, as you do so because it is easy to become aggressive or passive when you disagree. Keep your voice calm and good eye contact.
The first technique for dealing with destructive criticism is to simply disagree with it. It’s important to stay calm and monitor your nonverbal behavior, including tone of voice, as you do so, because it’s easy to become aggressive or passive when you disagree. Keep your voice calm and good eye contact.
- For example, Criticism: “You are always late”.
- Answer: “No, I’m not always late. “I may be late occasionally, but I’m definitely not late all the time.”
7. Have a growth attitude and use it to your advantage
Be open to learning and changing. Instead of focusing on the negativity, take this as an opportunity for self-improvement. If the criticism is truly valid, the best thing to do is to figure out how you can use it to improve.
Get straight to the point and ask the reviewer what part of you or your work they would improve and how. This way you not only show that you are interested in doing things better, you also include the person criticizing you.
If you judge the criticism to be invalid, smile, walk away, and don’t let it shake your confidence.
8. Let go of what doesn’t feel right and don’t take it personally.
If criticism doesn’t feel valid, change your focus. Don’t dwell on it and don’t over-analyze it. Try to accept that it may not be right and concentrate on your strengths. Not all criticism is actually about you.
It may be a reflection of someone else’s insecurity, jealousy, or unhappiness. Sometimes people feel bad, they’re just bored, or they might get angry about something else and take it out on you.
Whatever the situation, remember that sometimes people do it to vent anger or frustration, not to attack you personally.
9. Feel your emotions.
Allow yourself to feel hurt or angry. Denying or suppressing your feelings won’t help you. Talk about them, write about them, or let them vent creatively. Then continue…
10. Try Getting Help.
If you are afraid of criticism, it would be beneficial to consult a psychologist. You can learn to find the root of this fear, deal with it, and not let it negatively affect your life.