What is Empathy, How Do We Empathize?
In her book To Kill a Mockingbird , Harper Lee says, “You can’t truly understand another person until you see things from his or her point of view—until you get inside his or her skin and walk around inside it.”
This may perhaps be the answer to the question “what is empathy?” It is one of the most accurate answers to the question.
According to a recent neuroscience study, 98% of people ( with the exception of those with psychopathic tendencies ) have a built-in ability to empathize in their brains. This is an innate capacity to step into the shoes of others and understand their feelings and perspectives.
We answer for you what empathy is and what effective empathy methods can be, which are tried to be explained in different areas of life such as science, literature and art.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people are feeling, see things from their perspective, and imagine yourself in their shoes. Essentially, it’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and feeling what they feel.
When you see someone else suffering, for example if the other person has lost a loved one, you can imagine having the same experience at that moment and feel what they are going through.
Is empathy a skill?
Particularly in social psychology, empathy can be categorized as an emotional or cognitive response. The ability to imagine yourself as someone else is a complex process. However, the basic capacity to recognize emotions in others may be innate.
How Can We Empathize?
One of the most frequently asked questions after the question of what empathy is is how empathy works in the mind in scientific terms.
Empathy allows us to internally simulate (imagine or symbolize in a realistic way) the emotional and cognitive mental states of others.
Neurobiological research suggests that empathy is a complex phenomenon that can be described using a model that includes 2 processing modes:
1) Bottom up
2) Top to bottom
Bottom-up neural processing is achieved through mirroring representation systems (mirror neurons), which play a key role in directly sharing the emotional states of others.
Mirror neurons located in the central promoter and parietal cortex are activated during goal-directed actions (holding an object, grasping, reaching, etc.). That is, when a person observes someone else’s behavior, he can act as if he were the one doing that action.
Top-down processing, known as cognitive perspective taking or theory of mind, in which the emotions of others are fully imagined and understood, is based on control and inhibition mechanisms.
When empathizing with another person’s emotions or feelings, cognitive perspective taking (cognitive empathy) occurs, which supports the ability to understand the intentions, desires, and beliefs of others.
The first step in cognitive perspective taking is to distinguish between ourselves and others. In the next step, we imagine how another person feels and understands their intentions, desires, and beliefs. This cognitive inference about the other person’s mental state is known as mentalizing or having a theory of mind.
The Secret of True Empathy
It may not always be possible for a person to put himself in the other person’s shoes.
There are many factors that affect empathy skills. While you may feel closer and more sensitive to some people, you may feel farther away from others.
While thinking about what empathy is and how to empathize in the best way, you need to carefully analyze the factors that affect this tendency.
Factors playing a role in this trend include:
- How do you perceive the other person?
- How you interpret the other individual’s behavior and the emotions it evokes in you
- Who or what you blame for the other person’s plight
- Past experiences and expectations
Paying attention to these factors changes your negative perspective and strengthens your tendency to empathy.
When you want to change your perspective on things by putting yourself in the person’s shoes, you will better understand what the factors that may hinder you are. This way, you can have a more constructive attitude when shaping your approaches.
What are the benefits of empathy?
Being able to experience empathy has many benefits:
- Empathy allows you to make social connections with others.
By understanding what people think and feel, you can react appropriately in social situations.
- Empathizing with others helps you learn to regulate your own emotions.
Emotional regulation is important, even during times of great stress, as it allows you to manage what you feel without becoming overwhelmed.
- Empathy encourages helping behaviors.
Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and approaching things from their perspective will not only increase your tendency to help someone else. At the same time, it makes it easier for you to communicate with people who empathize with you and understand your thoughts correctly.
What is the Importance of Establishing Empathy in Communication?
Empathetic communication means accepting the different perspectives and feelings of the people you communicate with. In this way, you support the other person to express himself openly and feel safe.
Putting yourself in his/her shoes and seeing it from his/her perspective will enable you to act more compassionately and understandingly. This situation occurs reciprocally. So, when you care about someone else’s feelings and thoughts, they also care about your feelings and thoughts.
5 Tips for Communicating with Empathy
- You must respond to your interlocutor’s concerns in a timely manner
Whether it is a major crisis or a small problem, immediately taking into account the negativity a person is experiencing and finding a solution shows that you care about him/her.
- You should act in a way that shows you care.
Instead of saying, “I understand your concerns,” try to match your understanding with a reflection of the context that causes people to react a certain way.
People want to be understood and supported. You should also show with your behavior that you understand his feelings and thoughts.
- You should accept people’s subjective experiences even if you disagree.
- You should not violate people’s personal boundaries.
Regardless of the intention behind your communication, sometimes your words and actions can be misunderstood and cause an undesirable reaction. Once you realize this, you need to communicate without harming anyone’s personal space and by expressing yourself clearly.
- You should stay away from expressions and attitudes that may arouse negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, and anger.
We tried to explain what empathy is in safe communication and how to achieve it in a few simple steps.
Let’s continue with the other details of the subject.
Difference of Empathy from Sympathy
Although empathy and sympathy are perceived as similar concepts, there are significant differences between them.
The primary difference between empathy and sympathy is how you relate to people.
What is empathy: It is the compassion and understanding we show to a person. It means being able to look at things from his perspective.
What is sympathy: It is the feeling of pity felt for another person.
Empathy is the ability to understand how someone feels, while sympathy is the relief you feel because you don’t have the same problems.
When you establish a relationship with empathy, you support the other person in taking ownership of their feelings and thoughts.
You reflect on what you’re feeling and see things from her perspective, providing a safe space for all emotions, including negative ones.
When you relate with sympathy, you become problem-solving focused. Rather than putting yourself in the person’s shoes and looking at things, you make judgments about how they feel and what they should do. This approach may solve the problems, but it causes you to ignore the person’s feelings and thoughts.
Another key difference between empathy and sympathy is that empathy is an emotion that is appropriate for every moment. Showing empathy is when a person acts by putting himself in the other person’s shoes, which will bring you closer to others, no matter what the circumstances.
To better understand the differences between empathy and sympathy, “ What is Sympathy?” | What are the Differences Between Empathy and Sympathy? You can read our article titled “.
Staged Empathy Classification
The progressive empathy classification theory was developed by Üstün Dökmen in 1988.
According to this theory, there are three basic empathy steps in total:
- tens place
- I step
- sen digit
Each step consists of two separate steps: thought and emotion.
Tens Place
The stages of the steps are classified according to the person’s reaction.
A person who reacts in the tens level does not focus or think about the problems the other person explains. Moreover, he does not express his own feelings and thoughts towards this particular problem. By applying this step, the person who reacts, that is, the person who listens to the problem, chooses to give effective feedback to the person with the problem. These feedbacks generally express the thoughts and opinions of third parties who are not present in the environment, in other words, the society. The response often contains proverbs and generalizations.
For example, using the proverb “one drop at a time makes a lake” to encourage a person complaining about their financial difficulties to save.
The reaction of the person using this step indicates the general public opinion rather than expressing personal opinions.
I Step
This stage includes a self-centered approach. At this stage, the person reacting puts himself in the place of the person explaining his problem and instead of reacting to the events, he criticizes the person with the problem and focuses on giving him advice. Moreover, they start talking about their own problems and feelings, leaving the person with the problem completely alone with what they are feeling. For example, a person who gives his/her empathic reaction based on the “I” step may respond to the person who talks about his/her problem as follows: “I’m sorry, I had the same problem yesterday.”
With this response, the person reacting begins to talk about his or her own feelings and experiences, leaving the problem owner completely alone with his or her own emotions. People who react at the “I” stage are not considered to be fully empathetic because they do not react by putting themselves in the other person’s shoes.
Sen Step
This is the last step of the theory. The person who gives the empathic response at this stage is the person who is able to put himself in the other person’s shoes and look at the events from his perspective.
This is the step where a person puts himself in the other person’s shoes and focuses directly on the feelings and thoughts of the other person.
Frequently Asked Questions
Answers to all your questions about what empathy is, are on Terappin Blog!
- Is empathy an emotion? Is empathy a value? What is empathy?
This concept includes biological (mirror neurons), aesthetic and social indicators. Therefore, it is an innate emotional tendency.
Your tendency to empathize may be weak, but it is a tendency that can be improved. When you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, look at things from their perspective, and perceive their situation and thoughts accurately, you value and gain value.
- How many types of empathy are there?
There are three types: emotional, somatic and cognitive.
- What is emotional empathy?
It is the ability to understand another’s emotion and respond accordingly.
- What is somatic empathy?
It means putting oneself in the other person’s shoes and reacting physically to their feelings. For example, when someone is embarrassed, your face turns red or you feel pain in your stomach.
- What is cognitive empathy?
It involves understanding what the other person’s mental state is and what their reaction to an event might be.
- What causes lack of empathy?
Psychological and spiritual illnesses, trauma or traumatic life experiences can make it difficult for you to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective.